Scriptures:
Ephesians 5:22-33 New King James Version
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might [a]sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, [b]of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Couples Devotion – September 30
September 30
There’s no denying that the subject of gender roles in marriage is a contentious and controversial one…. I have seen Bible verses used as weapons of both oppression and rebellion. I have also seen the healing and flourishing that can happen in a marriage when hot-button words like “headship” and “submission” are understood correctly, with Jesus as the model for both. (Hardcover, p. 171; paperback, p. 192)
SUBMISSION. In these times, one can almost provoke a riot by using the words “headship” and “submission.” To many they mean oppression from men and willing subservience from women. This stems in part from a lack of understanding of the headship/submission dynamic in the ministry of Jesus. Also, some of it is willful misconstruction in the service of political agendas. Further, bad experiences with authority lead us to the conclusion that it is bad in all its forms. In Matthew 20:26-28 Jesus explained to his disciples that authority is to be used to serve, not to “lord it over” others, something Paul elaborated on in Ephesians 5:22-33. We see Jesus as the husband who sacri- fices everything to bring his bride to perfection (verse 25).
Reflection: Husbands, ask your wives if your exercise of head- ship makes them feel secure, loved, and cared for, or bullied and oppressed. Pray first to be able to receive the answer with grace, whether it is offered lovingly or not. Wives, are you ready to imi- tate Jesus, who set aside his glory as a gift to his Father in the accomplishment of our salvation (and then was glorified even further as a result)?
Thought for prayer: Pray that the pride and fear in both of your hearts would be suppressed by God’s Spirit, so that head- ship and submission in your marriage would be life-giving and not painful.
Reference: The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy and Kathy Keller.